The Gray Monk

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April 05, 2005

Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa!

The Monk has a confession to make: he didn't read his preaching roster properly! He knew he had a full slate of services to take a role in on Sunday, but he missed the fact that he was down to preach for the Sung Mass at 1100!

Having performed his part as the Liturgical Deacon at 0915 (which service finishes at around 1020!), he changed from black cassock to the servers' episcopal mauve, and started to prepare to be the Crucifer for the Sung Mass.

"Hello," says a fellow Server, "Are you going to serve and preach?"

"Preach?" says the Monk, surprised.

"Says so on the Bulletin," declares his helpful colleague.

Rapid check of Rota - yes, that's right! Thirty minutes to the service and nothing prepared! Help! Sacristy, Bible, Paper, Pen, Verger's Office - shut door and scribble furiously praying frantically for inspiration! Another change of robes and the Monk emerges serenely clutching a Bible and some folded bits of paper to follow the Choir into the Quire and take his seat in the Preacher's Chair. Only the whiteness of his knuckles and the castenets of his knees show his nervousness, but hey! That's why we wear cassocks isn't it?

A prayer for inspiration and an offering of my mouth, ears, and mind to God's will and word as I mount the Pulpit steps, clutching my Bible like a liferaft after the Gospel, bow to the President, face the congregation, say the words of the Preacher's prayer - and ......

Twelve minutes later I remember saying Amen. I know I used the Pope's last words, I know I quoted from the Gospel and the Epistle for the day - I had both open in my hand. I know I spoke on the fact that each and every Christian spends their lives looking for God and frequently not seeing him because we blind ourselves with so many material concerns. I know I spoke of my own journey in faith and how I had experienced some truly amazing moments in God's company in some very simple places. But I cannot tell you what I actually said. It was the Holy Spirit pouring words through me all the way.

Drained, I left the pulpit to be met by the Verger, who bowed ready to lead me back to my seat and whispered - "That was a cracker!"

Well, I can take no credit for it. It didn't follow the notes I had frantically scribbled. It didn't even take the form I had roughed out as I stood for the first part of the Eucharist. I have never before attempted to preach extemporaneously, and I probably never will again; the Word of God is far too important to do that to it. But I have also learned something very important in the process - to let God speak a little more freely through me in future, to not be afraid of departing from my prepared script.

My penance will no doubt be a long one and involve trying to live up to this sermon. All I can say is that I can only take credit for having stood up - the rest was straight from the Holy Spirit - and I thank Him for being there to use me in this way. It has been a chastening experience, a draining one, emotionally, as well - but it was also a truly magical one, which has given me a real boost in my faith.

Thanks be to God.

Posted by The Gray Monk at April 5, 2005 10:11 AM

Comments

Posted by: MommaBear at April 5, 2005 07:52 PM