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September 01, 2007

Double English? The not so subtle art of the Double-entendre

I am told that English is almost unique as a language in its propencity for unintentional alternative interpretations of any given statement. The "Double-entendre" is the stock in trade of the "stand up comedian" and has been since Chaucer. Certainly from the little I know of German and Dutch it is almost impossible to say something in a way which can have a funny or rather rude alternative meaning. Probably only in English do we use certain words as euphemisms for something else, usually a part of the anatomy or for some bedroom activity definitely rated "Adult".

Why raise this issue? Well. just occassionally someone inadvertantly says something on live television or radio in this country - or even on BBC World Service, which gets everyone with a sense of humour splitting their sides to the complete bafflement of non-English speakers - or, perhaps more surprisingly, from the puritanical "censor everything" brigade who, one assumes, should not even begin to understand what has been said. A list of some of the best such bloopers is in the extended post below. I take no credit for them, they are genuine and the list was forwarded to me by SlimJim.

I shall offer no interpretation - if you need one it isn't going to be amusing.

Here are 12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio

1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."

3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew."

5. US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .... Oh my god!! What have I just said??"

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday."

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.

Posted by The Gray Monk at September 1, 2007 05:47 PM

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Ok, those are hilarious. Thanks for sharing.

Posted by: vw bug at September 1, 2007 11:11 AM