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July 06, 2007

Glasgow's response to terror ....

I think if I were a terrorist, the last people I would want to go up against are the Glaswegians .....

I once took a bus from Paisley to Anderson Street Station and made the mistake of asking the Conducter if he could tell me if I had to change anywhere as I had been warned I would probably need to do so. I needed an interpreter to explain to me what had been said. If I am honest it was not my first encounter with the Glaswegian dialect, that had come many years before as an ambulanceman, when we picked up two matelots who had been mugged and robbed. The fight when we unloaded them in Casualty (Now called A&E) and inadvertently placed them alongside their original attackers was the stuff of which legends are made. It took the Military Patrol and five Constables to quell the resulting battle. And it is also the first time I have seen someone go from near death (if you believed the list of injuries supposedly suffered) to battle crazed berserker in a split second - and I come from a family of berserkers ..... And the list of injuries suffered by the matelots original assailants post the battle was medical history.They still talk about it at the hospital in hushed tones and it's now more than thirty years ago. Their Commander told us later in cut glass accents that they were from the Gorbels. Those who know Glasgow will understand that reference, the Gorbels was the toughest of the toughest districts in that city. The Military Patrol told us the only way to stop someone from there was to take his head off and then sever all his limbs. He might stop fighting once you'd done that.

They're hard men up there in Glasgow - and you wouldn't want to be caught by them if you've annoyed them ....

So the following bit of fun was sent to me by my eldest daughter - and I make no apologies for reproducing it here. While the US is the butt of this passage it could just as easily be anywhere else - but the quotes from the Glaswegian end are typical.

Differing responses had this happened in a US airport, compared to Glasgow Eyewitness accounts.

America:"Oh my God! There was a man on fire, he was running about, I just ran for my life. I thought i was gonna die, he got so close to me"

Glasgow "Bawbag wis running aboot on fire, so a ran up n gave him a good boot, then decked him"

America:" I just wanna get home, away from here. I just wanna get home, I thought i was gonna die"

Glasgow:" here shug, am no leaving here till am oan a f*ckin' plane!"

America:" there was pandemonium, people were running in all directions, we didn't know what was happening thought i was gonna die"

Glasgow:"F*ck this fir a kerry oan, moan we ll get a pint in"

America:" We thought he was gonna blow us all up he had a gas canister, and was trying to get into his trunk, I thought we were gonna die, I just ran for my life"

Glasgow:"a swaggered by the motor that wis on fire, and the dafty couldnae even open his boot, he wis in fire annaw so a ran up n gave him a good boot to the baws"

America: there was this huge explosion, it sounded like war, I thought I was gonna die"

Glasgow:" There wis a bang, yi know when yi throw BO basher intae a fire it wis like that"

America:" I'm too traumatized even to speak, I thought I was gonna die"

Glasgow "here mate, gies 2 minutes till a phone ma auld dear, if am gonna be oan the telly a want her tae tape it"

& finally, two quotes from an eye-witness......... John Smeaton (these are real)

John just surpassed himself on the National ITV news. The interviewer asked "What message do you have for the bombers" - he replied "This is Glasgow we'll just set about you"

John did an interview on CNN and they asked how he restrained the guy and he said "me and other folk were just tryin to get the boot in and some other guy banjoed him" !

I didn't originate this and I'm pretty certain that there would be people in the US who would respond differently - I know a few anyway - but I did enjoy the Glaswegian attitude displayed here - and which I have seen on TV coverage of the event.

For the record:
Deck = means to punch to the ground.
Boot = to kick (usually aimed at the head!) It can also mean to trip so as to put victim on the ground and re-apply ...
BO Basher = Deodorant spray can
Baws = sensitive part of the male anatomy
Banjo = Go figure!

Posted by The Gray Monk at July 6, 2007 05:03 PM

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My wife, who was born and raised 30 miles south of Glasgow, Loved this

Posted by: skipjack at July 10, 2007 01:50 AM