The Gray Monk

Parish Eucharist
Trinity 17

Some Pharisees came, and to test Jesus they asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”

+ May I speak and may you hear in the name of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen

This is probably, in our age, one of the most difficult passages in the Gospel. It is a sad reflection on our age that divorce is common – many would say far too common. The Pharisees in our Gospel this morning are quoting the Law of Moses when they ask this question – and Jesus quotes the Book of Genesis back at them. So what is the answer in our age? Would Jesus give another response do you think?

Somehow I doubt it.

The Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.”

The secular society in which we live has difficulty recognising the spiritual or the divine in anything – and that is probably no bad thing. Some one would undoubtedly attempt to write a Rule Book to regulate our spiritual lives if it did – oh, wait a moment, someone already has!

The point of our gospel reading this morning – and of the reading from Genesis – is that human relationships require a lot of work. We cannot and should not expect to live “happily ever after” without putting a little effort into the relationship – especially during the hard and difficult times. We should also take care when entering into a marriage – or any other relationship – that we have taken account of all the needs of the person we are joining ourselves too. Men and women are not meant to be alone, we are meant to share our lives and the tasks that go with supporting each other.

Naturally the model given in the reading from Genesis is the model for families as given and understood within Judaism, Christianity and Islam and it is centred on the raising of children and the perpetuation of our species, but we should not ignore that fact that there are many other states of fellowship that must be considered as well.

Cain asked, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” and in a sense we all are. Human relationships are fraught with potential difficulty. We are all different and all have different understandings of a variety of things around us. The wonder is sometimes that we can agree on anything, so the potential for two people living in close contact to eventually fall out of love or to find themselves growing apart is enormous. This is where relationships take an enormous amount of work. Some of us succeed and sadly some of us fail.

Jesus reminds us that divorce is the invention of mankind to deal with our inability to resolve our differences on occasion but, it frequently seems to me that the greatest failure is the breakdown in communication between parties. After all, a partnership needs to be built on mutual respect and friendship, and friends need at all times to be able to communicate effectively or the friendship too will wither and die.

For those of us who have been divorced this passage can be quite painful. Painful because it reminds us strongly of our failure to engage properly with our partners, failure to build the bonds that should have been strong enough to see us through the difficulties that eventually tore us apart. Rarely, very rarely, because of our very natures, can a relationship like that be repaired.

Nor are the two who separate the only casualties – and here we are reminded again by the juxtaposition of the question on divorce and the presentation of the children to Christ of the purpose of our unions’ one with another – for very often the greatest losers in the battles between a husband and wife are the children. Our society is a stark testimony to the break down of family life – through divorce and other factors.

Of one thing we can be certain, the answer to the Pharisees was and is unequivocal. We are charged with the task of doing everything in our power to preserve our relationships and to make them work, despite what society will tolerate.

But where does that leave those of us who have not succeeded? I suggest to you that we must look to the second part of the Gospel – and pray for the hope that is carried in every child’s heart that they will receive love, that mistakes will be forgiven, that joy will follow pain.

Our lessons today are also a strong reminder that we are not to live our lives in splendid isolation, but that we are part of a greater whole. We are all influenced by our friends, our families and even those whom we do not like. Whether we are aware of it or not, each of us leaves some part of ourselves with everyone we work with, pray with or play with. We are not alone as long as we are part of Christ’s family and in fellowship with one another.

We are not meant to be alone, and in Christ we are not, we are in fellowship one with another and in that fellowship we must set aside pride, envy, greed and all the other things which poison our relationships with each other, and seek to build the relationships which stand the tests and strains of life.

All relationships take effort to maintain them, but none so much as those with whom we are closest. And the one to whom we should be closest of all is Jesus himself. How much effort do we really put into our relationship with him? Perhaps as we ponder on the message of Genesis, the letter to the Hebrews and the Gospel of Mark we should give that some thought, especially as we approach the Eucharist – that greatest of all marks of our fellowship with and in Christ.

Amen