« Icons of our age? | Main | Damned spam! »

July 16, 2005

Common Sense Has Died

This was far too good not to spread further. I found it on a UK-based union Chat Room/News Website. Someone has hit the nail on the head - my thanks go to the person who posted it on the News Site - one Miss Whiplash, believe it or not!

Common Sense Has Died

To Whom It May Concern,

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.

Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place: reports of a six-year boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, these only worsened his condition.

Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandants became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap and was awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on; if not, join the majority and do nothing.

Posted by The Gray Monk at July 16, 2005 03:55 PM


Great piece, I've sent it around the world. But I'll tell you one thing, don't try an google "Miss Whiplash" and expect to find the author anytime soon. But then again you might have more fun searching for her.

Posted by: Tim at July 17, 2005 10:42 AM

I'll definately pass this on -cheers.

Posted by: krip at July 18, 2005 03:01 PM

Very Nice! Passing....

Posted by: jonathan even-zohar at July 20, 2005 01:37 PM