« St George's Day | Main | Distinctive architecture »
April 27, 2005
In case you ever wondered ...
Ever wondered where the authors of various reports and "learned" articles about such amazing stuff as diversity, various -isms, and the like get those high sounding, but almost meaningless buzz phrases from? Ever wondered why so much of it never seems to make sense when you read it carefully? Wonder no more! The Monk has discovered the source of all these "Buzz Phrases" that sound so good, but mean so little. I reproduce it here for your use to confound the managers who probably themselves don't know that it exists and have simply copied the phrase from somewhere else!
THE WHIZZ KIDS BUZZ PHRASE GENERATOR
To Use: Think of any THREE digit number
Take the word in Column 1 related to the FIRST digit.
Take the word in Column 2 related to the SECOND digit.
Take the word in Column 3 related to the THIRD digit.
Use the resulting phrase within the body of the text of your report.
Reuse this phrase wherever it is appropriate throughout the report, and
Generate additional phrases which support it at intervals in your text.
Ensure all the Buzz Phrases appear in the Executive Summary
Keep track of the number of times they are used in correspondence
sent out by the management to the rest of the organisation!
Column 1
0 Integrated
1 Total
2 Systemised
3 Parallel
4 Functional
5 Responsive
6 Optional
7 Synchronised
8 Compatible
9 Balanced
Column 2
0 Management
1 Organisational
2 Monitored
3 Reciprocal
4 Digital
5 Logistical
6 Transitional
7 Incremental
8 Third generation
9 Policy
Column 3
0 Potential
1 Flexibility
2 Capability
3 Mobility
4 Programme
5 Concept
6 Time phase
7 Projection
8 Hardware
9 Contingency
This "generator" produces phrases with that high sounding "ring" of knowledge and subject expertise that so impresses the management. They can be written into almost any report and generating one is as easy as thinking of (or asking a colleague to give you) a random three digit number. So, for instance 063 gives you "Integrated Transitional Mobility" or 911 - "Balanced Organisational Flexibility".
The Monk has used it in several reports to management - and it works a treat. There are some very telling phrases now lacing our internal (and quite possibly external!) correspondence. One recently surfaced in the organisation's Business Plan! Such is the power of words - even meaningless ones!
So now you know. And do use it with great joy and amusement !!
Posted by The Gray Monk at April 27, 2005 10:19 AM