The Gray Monk

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January 12, 2005

Flight rules

Visiting Ozguru on his blog at G'day Mate, I found he has posted something he got from Ambient Irony, but which I need to reproduce here for my helicopter-flying son. Some basic rules of flying.

Basic Flying Rules:
1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.

For helicopter pilots a couple more can be added:

4. When attempting to get airborne, pour on the power and move all the controls until it does lift,
5. Note when it does what you wanted it to, and note the position of the controls when it does it - you'll need to remember where to put them the next time, and
6. Remember, when making stall turns, that the passnegers spill their coffee - and sometimes other things they perhaps would prefer to keep down!

Of course, helicopter pilots are probably certifiable (my son thinks I am mad because I go into burning buildings!) because, according to the normal laws of physics, a helicopter should screw itself straight into the ground instead of flying! Still, for those able to control one of these beasts, it is a transport into pure Nirvana. I have to say that if I had better eyesight, could pat my head, rub my stomach, and twist both feet in opposite directions simultaneously, I would not hesitate to take up flying one myself. Rollercoasters? You can have them - take me for a ride in a chopper anyday!

Umm, just a thought here, if all helicopter pilots are certifiable, and my son is a helicopter pilot, and he thinks I'm mad .... I wonder where he gets it from?

Posted by The Gray Monk at January 12, 2005 10:45 AM

Comments

Posted by: Ozguru at January 12, 2005 12:58 PM

Posted by: Russell Newquist at January 12, 2005 04:55 PM