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December 15, 2004
Health and Safety considerations for Santa?
The ubiquitous health and safety nutters have caught up with Santa. Recently I have seen a number of large Santa figures decorating various houses I pass journeying to and from work. Each is carrying a ladder. Now, in my misspent youth, Santa didn't need a ladder, he simply landed on the roof and came down the chimney. Ladders were for people needing to get up high or repair things - or for burglars. Definitely not part of Santa's equipment.
I have to admit that, although I had noticed the ladders, it wasn't until the local radio station started to ask if anyone knew why the Santas were all equipped with them that I started to wonder. It ran for several days - and then: enlightenment!
It seems that it is all part of the Health and Safety at Work legislation - and the Health and Safety considerations of a "caring" home owner!
According to the announcer (how he managed to not laugh while reading this out I will never know!), reading a letter from the local authority Health and Safety Adviser, Santa is now equipped with a ladder because he is no longer permitted to land the sleigh and reindeer on the roof. This is because the impact of a fully laden sleigh and the team of livestock could damage the tiles and even dislodge them. This could lead to further claims against the householder from anyone injured by a falling tile.
The ladder is therefore necessary so that he can climb up to the roof in order to descend the chimney. This in turn creates a further problem in that many chimneys have been closed off or converted to permit gas firing, and Santa now requires special clothing which is non-combustible, heat resistant, and capable of preventing adherence or snagging when descending inside the chimney. He must also wear a safety harness and make use of safety lines and dual abseilling lines when descending or ascending the chimney.
Further, the droppings from the reindeer might be carried into the rain water downpipes and convey foreign bacteria into our eco-system.
He must also take steps to prevent fouling of the ground or street by the reindeer and potential infestation or conveyance of diseases to the UK livestock population. Failure to act strictly in accordance with the regulations could lead to Santa being prosecuted for failing to obey Health and Safety at Work legislation. Householders could also be prosecuted for failing to ensure that a "workman" entering premises in their control followed the regulations.
Householders, for their part, need to ensure that there are adequate anchor points for the safety and abseilling lines and that the chimney is sound and capable of bearing the weight of Santa as he descends and ascends. They must also ensure that the roof covering has adequate non-slip coverings to the chimney and that it is capable of bearing his sustained weight during transit to the chimney from the ladder. They must also make adequate arrangements for cleaning and disinfecting any waste left by the sleigh and the reindeer.
Whatever happened to a simple "Bah! Humbug!"?
Posted by The Gray Monk at December 15, 2004 09:27 AM