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November 10, 2003
Pratchettesque
I work for a government agency, our function is to provide training - sorry, in New Speak, that's Personal Development - for the Emergency Services. I have spent the best part of 32 years in various roles and ranks within that service and have to say I enjoyed every moment. Until now.
One of the benefits of living in a country run by Sound Bites and Spin Doctors is that everything is now described in Buzz Words. Hence we have an Integrated Transport Policy, and Integrated Health System, Integrated Government (means it expands exponentially while you aren't looking) and the latest gem to hit the service I am involved in "Integrated Personal Development". What used to be a simple matter of acquiring skills and knowledge as you moved through the service has now become as self perpetuating bureaucracy. Made worse by its being seen by the politicians as the perfect vehicle to hang all their more lunatic politically correct wish lists on. So now I am a Senior Facilitator. Oh joy! I always wanted to be one of those! I still do the same job, for the same money, but now the workload has shot through the roof because I am expected to do a personal assessment on each student. Twenty four to twenty eight per Programme (that used to be Course) and upwards of twelve Programmes per year. Good stuff, but it gets better. You see I have been a fan of Terry Pratchett for years, and now I know where he gets his inspiration.
Yep, we are now run by something called "The Hub". The denizens of this place are as strange a collection as those who inhabit Pratchett's Cori Celesti. Dunmanifestin has nothing on these guys - or the new management. Only the Civil Service would consider it appropriate to appoint someone from the Department of Social Services (Housing Division) and someone from the Department of Prisons (Probation Service) to run a Training College. Or maybe I'm missing a trick here. Anyway, those of us who actually deal with the students, sorry, delegates, have dubbed our end of the organisation "The Rim". Anyday now we plan to erect a Circumfence, to stop any more things from drifting over the edge while our "Management" wonder what it actually does.
A recent read of the "Wee free men" and "Monstrous Regiment" had me rushing to the bookcase to reread "Carpe Jugulum" (he got the New Labour strategy to a "T"!) and the the even funnier "The Last Hero". I like Cohen's style, pity I can't get him to do the same for our Hub. Oops, now I had better go and do some penance. That's the problem with being a christian, you feel guilty about being angry with people who really annoy you!
Anyone who reads Pratchett will know that you need to read him at least twice for each title to really see what he is driving at. The first read is funny, the second makes you go Hmmmmmm, and the third sometimes makes you sit back and look for another planet to go and hide on.
OK, so I am a bit weird in the humour department, but I actually like to be challenged - to be made to think about what I have read and why I find it funny. Pratchett does that to you, and perhaps that's why he works outside of the UK just as well - even though those who are not familiar with the UK may miss some of the very parochial issues he holds up for ridicule.
These days, whenever someone really annoys me, I sit back and try to imagine what Pratchett would do with the character - trouble is, he usually already has! I now work with guys who make me think of the UU faculty, Lupine Wonse, Mr Slant, Count de Magpyr, King Verence, Mrs Ogg, Carrot Ironfounderson, Sam Vimes, Sargeant Colon and Nobby - and all the others. Sort of difficult to keep a straight face sometimes. I wonder what character they cast me as ...
If you haven't read Pratchett, it's not to late to start.
Posted by The Gray Monk at November 10, 2003 05:23 PM
Comments
Could be Captain Carrot (?) but somehow the first character that springs to mind would be Vimes (although he is a bit disappointing in Monstrous Regiment). Hw too had to reform a "public service institution" only I think his boss (most of the time) was OK (except during Jingo?)
Posted by: Ozguru at June 9, 2005 11:56 PM
I've worked with a 'Reg Shoe'. Overly enthusiastic, but prone to losing fingers.
Posted by: Peskie at June 10, 2005 12:14 AM
Actually Uncle Robert is recovering now. He got an infection and Heather says he won't lose any of his fingers.
Posted by: Ozguru at June 10, 2005 12:14 AM
I don't think I'm the Carrot type, Vimes, possibly, but there are times when I think Mort may be more appropriate ...
Posted by: Monk at June 10, 2005 12:16 AM
Hang on, isn't Mort the father of Susan? Is/Are your daughter(s) able to make themselves invisible and talk to rats? Otherwise stick to a safer character. [Aside: Actually I think Susan and Tiffany have a lot in common.] What about Teppic - wasn't he fighting the beauracracy?
Posted by: Ozguru at June 10, 2005 12:16 AM
Teppic? Hmmmmm. Edificering wouldn't be a problem, but I'm not sure about all that inhuming bit .... Actually, both my daughters seem to be able to make themselves blend into background when they want too, and the youngest has Goth tendencies when not riding a motorbike! Look at the joys you have ahead as a father of a daughter ...
Posted by: Monk at June 10, 2005 12:17 AM
I always thought of myself as a younger Granny Weatherwax actually...
(Daughter #1)
Posted by: Val at June 10, 2005 12:18 AM
I think I'm somewhere between Granny Weatherwax and Susan (Death's granddaughter)...
Posted by: Kathy K at June 10, 2005 12:19 AM
Yay!
Only, what's with the dates?
Posted by: Pixy Misa at June 10, 2005 06:48 AM
The Gray Monk is in Germany for a few days - I am importing (one at a time via cut and paste) his old entries and then adding the comments. I haven't fixed the dates on the comments - just on the posts.
I had a go at the MT import from local directory but it doesn't seem to be working so I figured I could just do it the hard way....
Posted by: Ozguru at June 10, 2005 01:54 PM